Aug 4th, 2010
by Kfuruta.
New! This year we would like to incorporate memories of your child or children in a video to be displayed during the memorial ceremony.
If you would like to participate, please send a photograph of your child or of something representing your child (such as their footprints, a meaningful quote, their name, etc.) This will be shared publicly, so please be aware of that. Pictures must be high resolution. Please submit no more than 10 words. You may submit a photo and wording. Due to space limitations we can only accept one memorial per family/child.
Send submissions to sscott@ocwalktoremember.org.Please know we would love to use all submissions, but we can’t guarantee it.
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More updates soon on the OC Walk To Remember Blog.
Posted in: 2010 Walk News.
Jul 20th, 2010
by Kfuruta.
So far, the OC Walk To Remember has 899 fans on their Facebook page and needs your help to reach 1,000 fans!
For new members, simply go to: http://www.facebook.com/ and create a Facebook account. In the search bar, type: OC Walk To Remember Group to become a fan!
Or if you are already a fan, share the OC Walk to Remember Facebook page to your friends by clicking on Invite People To Join on the left side of your screen under our logo.
The OC Walk To Remember Facebook page allows families to get in touch with other families who have lost children by posting messages, adding photos, clicking on the “like” button that notifies the user that they like the comment or picture displayed on each Facebook page. Look for the latest announcements, which appear daily on the OC Walk To Remember Facebook page!
*Please leave a comment on our Facebook page for a chance to win a $25 Apple gift card and OC Walk to Remember tote bag filled with gifts!
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Stay tuned for more updates here soon on the OC Walk To Remember Blog.
Posted in: Uncategorized.
Jul 20th, 2010
by Kfuruta.
Be sure to download the following flyer and present it to the server when you order to ensure the OC Walk To Remember will benefit from your purchase.
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More information soon on the OC Walk To Remember Blog.
Posted in: 2010 Walk News.
Jul 7th, 2010
by kvonrotz.
It’s my son’s birthday, and I went to the store to buy him a ceramic frog. Upon checking out, the cashier commented on what a cute frog it was.
“Who is the frog for?” she asked.
“My son,” I answered.
“Does he love frogs?” she asked
“Yes, he does,” I answered.
“Will he keep it in his room?” she asked.
“No,” I answered
“How old is he turning?” she asked.
“Six,” I answered.
“Are you doing anything special to celebrate?” she asked.
“A family get together,” I answered.
“Where is he now? Is he at school?” she asked.
“No, my son is dead. The frog is for his headstone.” I answered.
She asked no more questions.
I apologized for having to tell her something so sad.
As I left the store with the frog tucked under my arm the tears just kept coming. It’s been six years since I last held my son and had to tell him goodbye, and my heart is still broken.
Like many moms, I struggle with when and how to talk about my child. But he IS my child. And it IS his birthday. And I WILL be celebrating…..and grieving.
Last night I couldn’t sleep. I kept thinking about what Joseph would look like. What his favorite food would be? What his favorite color would be? Would he like sports? Would he like soccer or karate or painting? Would he be a mommy’s boy or daddy’s boy? Would he have curly hair like my son, Evan? Would he have long legs like my daughter Leah? Would he smile all the time like my husband Mark? Would he be sensitive like me?
I’ll never know.
At his birthday party at the cemetery, we will celebrate the short time we had with him. We will celebrate that he is our son. We will celebrate his impact on this world. And we will leave his birthday present—a ceramic frog—on his headstone.
Happy Birthday Joseph.
Written by Kristyn von Rotz, cofounder of the OC Walk to Remember.
Joseph died due to a rare and fatal brain abnormality on July 8, 2004.
Posted in: Uncategorized.
Jul 6th, 2010
by Kfuruta.
The Ruby’s Diner Fundraiser will be held on July 24-25th. 20% off food sales will benefit the OC Walk to Remember.
The following Ruby’s locations are participating:
- Anaheim
- Corona Del Mar
- Fullerton
- Irvine
- Irvine Spectrum
- Laguna Hills Mall
- Mission Viejo Mall
- San Juan Capistrano
- South Coast Plaza
- Tustin
- Yorba Linda.
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Find more ways to support the OC Walk To Remember here soon.
Posted in: 2010 Walk News.
Jun 26th, 2010
by Kfuruta.
The Loss of a Newborn-A brief reference for those experiencing the death of a baby in the first few months of life. Look for more information on the National Share-Pregnancy & Infant Loss Support. Below is a source for answers to some of your questions, and also to help you realize the normalcy of all the emotions and fears your may experience during your grief journey.
Some parents learn that their baby has a life-threatening condition during pregnancy. You may have been afraid to bond with your baby during the pregnancy once it was determined that your baby would likely die. It is not uncommon for parents to think that if they do not become attached to their baby that it will make the death easier to deal with. The opposite reaction is also normal. After delivery some parents are unable to leave their baby’s side, wanting to be with them every moment of their short life, fearing that their son and/or daughter will die while they are apart. When the death of their baby is certain, some parents benefit from making choices, prior to delivery, regarding birth plans, baby’s care and/or memorial services.
Some parents do not know their baby is ill until after they are born and complications occur suddenly. You may have been in shock and had a difficult time accepting that something was wrong with your baby. You may have had to make decisions very quickly after delivery. You may have been overwhelmed by the decisions you had to make and exhausted from the experience.
In either situation, it is normal to question your decisions or the decisions of the medical staff, wanting only what was best for your baby; to give him/her the best quality of life. After your baby died, you may have felt cheated because you were not able to experience his/her life for very long or you may have felt grateful for the time that you did get to spend with your precious child. You may have felt lost and alone. Not only has your baby died, but also the hopes and dreams you had planned for your future together. It is important for you to know that however you react to the devastating news and death of your baby is normal.
Your emotions and feelings may be constantly changing. You might experience a range of emotions at different times, or re-experience an emotion you have already felt. There is no right or wrong way to move through your feelings. Everyone’s experience and way of grieving is different. While grieving, you may experience any or all of the emotions listed below:
- Jealousy
- Confusion
- Loss of Control
- Low Self-Esteem
- Denial
- Sadness/Depression
- Anger
- Disappointment
- Guilt/Self-blame
- Anxiety
- Failure
It is unlikely that you will experience these emotions in any order or as stages. The intense feelings of your grief will not last forever; there will come a time when the heartache is less painful. Incorporating your loss into your daily life takes patience and time. Not all of this time is spent in acute or deep grief. the degree that the varying emotions are felt lessens with time, and healing takes place. It is important for you to know what you are feeling is normal.
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Read more about the feelings you may experience after a neonatal death on the OC Walk To Remember Blog.
Posted in: Uncategorized.
Jun 25th, 2010
by Kfuruta.
It is difficult for someone who has never experienced the death of a baby to comprehend what you are going through. Often, people do not know what to say to you, and in their attempts to make you feel better may say things that upset you or make you angry. Most people do not purposely try to be insensitive; they simply do not understand the impact the death of your baby has had on you. Some people do not understand the intimate relationship you and your baby already had since they were not able to experience the same, close tangible bond you had while you were pregnant.
The best way to deal with people when you are grieving is to be honest and tell them what you need. The same is true between you and your spouse. Some parents have even found it helpful to write notes or letters to their family, friends, and co-workers explaining the circumstances surrounding their loss and what they need from others. Sometimes, people are surprised at the depth of your feelings.
For more information, click on National Share-Pregnancy & Infant Loss Support
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More OC Walk To Remember news here soon.
Posted in: Resources.
Jun 20th, 2010
by Kfuruta.
One of the first questions when approaching June with a father in grief can be whether it is even appropriate to celebrate this holiday. Maybe some men prefer to let Father’s Day pass without any acknowledegement, it is important to understand that as a father, no matter how or when a child is lost, you are still a father.
No matter how you choose to spend this holiday, the OC Walk To Remember is thinking of all the dad’s today!
Wishing all the dad’s a Happy Father’s Day!
Love,
The OC Walk To Remember
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Find out more details about the upcoming OC Walk To Remember event this October.
Posted in: Uncategorized.
Jun 19th, 2010
by Kfuruta.
Two days ago, my niece was born and I was so happy for my brother. We were all looking forward to have Paige join our family and we couldn’t be any happier. When I heard the news, I visited my newly born niece at the hospital. I saw her for the first time and started to get a little teary eyed. She was sleeping and I saw how beautiful she was. At the same time, all I could think about was my baby boy, Kadan who passed away 2 years ago. I kept thinking about how much I missed him. It even got to me even more because it is only a couple days away from Father’s Day.
It has been a little over 2 years and I still think about my son all the time. I keep thinking about what I would be doing with him at this moment because of how much he would have affected everyone’s lives. I would be introducing him to his new baby cousin and instead, I am holding Paige in my arms without my son by my side asking, “who is this, daddy.” I couldn’t believe it when I saw Paige open her eyes for the first time when I was holding her. She looked at me on her first day in this world,while it took my baby boy a couple of weeks due to his condition.
I will never forget how it felt to hold my son in my arms and I wish that I can do it again. I miss him so much and I get frustrated a lot knowing that he is not here with me. Father’s Day is very hard but it makes me happy knowing that “I AM” a father and that I have a beautiful son who watches down on me everyday. I miss him so much and will continue to keep him in my heart until I see him again. I love you Kadan.
Happy Father’s Day to all the fathers who have lost their loved ones.
-Daniel Lumbera, daddy to Kadan Takeshi Lumbera
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Posted in: Parent's Stories.
Jun 19th, 2010
by Kfuruta.
For 13 years, my wife Sara and I had been working to conceive a child. We had a miscarriage one year prior to becoming pregnant with Christopher. The pregnancy was a windfall of emotions, and we were so happy. Things looked very positive, then in week 32 something changed. Christopher started to be less responsive and so we went and had tests, all of which came back normal. At our 34 week ultrasound, we discovered that Christopher had passed away. I, being the big strong man, had to be lifted to my feet as I watched the screen and I realized that there was no heartbeat. Our happiness came crashing down around us. the next 4 days are still a blur to me.
I truly love my wife with every stitch of my being. If we had to go a million lifetimes childless, I can not think of anyone I would rather be with. She was absolutely devastated by the loss, and at the same time, she knew how much the loss had affected me, and she showed this by paying attention to my grief.
I guess what I am trying to say is we relied on one another in our grief. We grieved together, we never turned to another person for comfort. If I felt like crying I did so, she never made me out to be over-dramatic or unmanly, she held me and cried with me. If anything, this loss strengthened our marriage we know now that there is nothing in this world that will break us apart.
-Robert Amos, father to Allison and Christopher James Amos, and finally Samantha Alexandra Amos-our pot of gold at the end of a very dark rainbow.
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Check back for more stories on the OC Walk To Remember Blog.
Posted in: Parent's Stories.
