I never used writing as a way to heal until I lost my son. During one session of our support group we were encouraged to write a letter to our baby. I had a really difficult time getting started but once I got past the first few sentences it was much easier. I have since written many letters to my son. I write on holidays, down days, good days, rainy days and sunny days. Sometimes its just a few sentences and other times its practically a novel. Writing to Grayson helps me feel connected to him.
Tonight I found the first letter I wrote to Grayson. Even now, almost 2 years later I can’t help but cry as I read this letter. Just as writing this letter brought healing; reading it again also brings healing. This letter signifies the brokeness that I was experiencing and is a reminder of how far I’ve come.
Here is an excerpt of my first letter to Grayson:
“You are the culmination of many of my dreams and desires. You will make me a better Mommy to your future siblings. I rejoice when your name leaves my lips. You have a piece of my heart that nobody on earth will ever have. Because of you I will forever be a a new person. You made me a Mommy! For that alone, I am grateful.”
I hope that you will be able to write something to your baby and that you will be able to look back on your first letter and find healing.
Written by Becky Rohlke, mom to Grayson.
Many mothers find comfort in writing letters to their children. Take a look at Dear Issac…a complication of letters.
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Read more on the OC Walk To Remember blog.