OC Walk To Remember Blog

The OC Walk to Remember walk and memorial service is a once-yearly event, but throughout the year, we work to make the event a reality. It takes a team to make this happen.

Meet the people who make it possible for the OC Walk to Remember to support parents who have lost a baby or babies:

OC Walk to Remember Committee:

Joseph Preston: Joseph is the Director of Hospital Communications. He is currently setting up meetings at hospitals to inform them about the important work the OC Walk does. If you are interested in volunteering to speak and tell your story, please e-mail him at jpreston@ocwalktoremember.org

Hallie Scott: Hallie is the Director of Publicity. Currently she is working on the huge task of compiling lists of Orange County social workers, doctors, mortuaries, etc. so we can let them know about the important work the OC Walk does. They are the ones who are in with the parents, so it is so important for them to know there is a place for parents to turn.

Katelyn Furuta is the Director Media and Public Relations. She currently works to update our Twitter, Facebook and OC Walk to Remember blog. If you have a story you’d like to share, please contact her at kfuruta@ocwalktoremember.org

Becky Rohlke is the Secretary. She keeps minutes at the meetings and also puts together the meeting agendas. She also recently has contributed to the OC Walk to Remember blog.

Kirsten Pert is the Director of Remembrance Ceremony. She currently is working on getting donations of roses, so we can continue to give the beautiful gift of a rose to each parent who has lost a child. She also is beginning work on a special memorial presentation that will take place during the walk.

Sheryl Seaver is the Director of Volunteers. She is currently gathering people who would like to volunteer their efforts the day of the walk. If you are interested, please contact her at  sseaver@ocwalktoremember.org

Kelly Young is the Director of the Sponsor-A-Family Pin Program. She is a returning OC Walk to Remember committee member. She is currently working on the design and other details of the actual pin that will be available for purchase. The pin can then be sponsored to a grieving family.

Also a special thank you to our Technology Advisors Frances Fendors and Shadrach Scott. Frances has put together the new OC Walk to Remember website and we are so thankful! Shadrach will be working on a the memorial ceremony special presentation. Stay tuned for more details on that!

The OC Walk to Remember also has a board of directors who meet 4 times per year to make  financial, planning and other important decisions about the OC Walk to Remember. Meet our board of directors:

Kristyn von Rotz
Lyndsey McLaughlan
Mark von Rotz
Liz Pagliarini
Jaritt Ruff

The OC Walk to Remember is also fortunate to have Jackie Barragan, Director of Operations for the OC Walk to Remember. She works on all aspects of the OC Walk to Remember event, as well as the support side of the organization.

Mark von Rotz is our treasurer, and he works throughout the year on the financial aspects of our organization. From depositing checks to tax returns to questions about our nonprofit status, he works on it all.

Thank you so much to you all for all of your hard work! And thank you to those of you who are reading and sharing the blog!

Kristyn von Rotz

Cofounder of the OC Walk to Remember

The von Rotz Family visiting Joseph at his grave

My son Joseph would be five years old. He died at birth due to a rare and fatal brain abnormality. In the days following his death, I was lost. I was grief-stricken. I was lonely. I was a mom without a baby.
I wrote this poem to him right after he died.

My Baby Boy

Inside my belly you slowly grew.
How much I wanted you I always knew.
But now daddy and I are filled with grief.
Your time with us was way too brief.

I’ll never understand why we’re apart.
And time will never heal my broken heart.
But I’ll always love you more than words can say.
And I promise I’ll see you again one day.

The only comfort I can allow
Is my baby boy you’re with the angels now.

- Kristyn von Rotz

I never used writing as a way to heal until I lost my son.  During one session of our support group we were encouraged to write a letter to our baby.  I had a really difficult time getting started but once I got past the first few sentences it was much easier.  I have since written many letters to my son.  I write on holidays, down days, good days, rainy days and sunny days.  Sometimes its just a few sentences and other times its practically a novel.  Writing to Grayson helps me feel connected to him.
  Continue reading →

The story of eight beautiful days with Copeland Farley.

“When I grew up I always thought that to make you into the person God wants you to be, you have to experience some kind of sorrow … I guess these are our things … now we have a longing for heaven in a real way.”

Copeland passed away from Trisomy 18, also known as Edwards syndrome, which is a condition caused by a chromosomal defect. It occurs in about 1 out of every 3000 live births.  The numbers increase significantly when early pregnancy losses are factored in that occur in the 2nd and 3rd trimesters of pregnancy.

Unlike Down syndrome, which also is caused by a chromosomal defect, the developmental issues caused by Trisomy 18 are associated with medical complications that are more potentially life-threatening in the early months and years of life. 50% of babies who are carried to term will be stillborn, with baby boys having higher stillbirth rate than baby girls.

At birth, intensive care admissions in Neonatal units are most common for infants with Trisomy 18. Again, baby boys will experience higher mortality rates in this neonatal period than baby girls, although those with higher birth weights do better across all categories.

Some children will be able to be discharged from the hospital with home nursing support for their families. And although less than 10 percent survive to their first birthdays, some children with Trisomy 18 can enjoy many years of life with their families, reaching milestones and being involved with their community.  A small number of adults (usually girls) with Trisomy 18 have and are living into their twenties and thirties, although with significant developmental delays that do not allow them to live independantly without assisted caregiving.

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Look for more information on the OC Walk To Remember blog.

Becky Rohlke remembering her son,Grayson.

Our lives have changed completely, but somehow we go on.  We are surviving.  There is still a lot we don’t understand.  Some of it we just had to let go of, and some of it we still puzzle over from time to time.  Life goes on, we do what we need to do, and eventually it gets a little easier.  God has not abandoned us, and we have found our way back to Him.  There are pockets of hope and more and more moments of happiness.  We have not been destroyed, only changed.

Quote from the book, Longing for My Child.

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Check back for more stories on the OC Walk To Remember blog.

You may wonder if this awful pain you feel will ever end.  Loss creates an emotional wound, but it is an injury that can be healed. With help and understanding, the pain of loss can be transformed into a challenging new beginning and your grief experience can become a healthy, positive, and healing process. 

Begin by playing songs to help you cope:

 John Mayer-Say -This song was included in the 2008 OC Walk to Remember video.

Christy Nockels-Glory Baby

Christy Nockels-Jesus Loves Me

Steven Curtis Chapman-Heaven Is the Place

Avril Lavigne-I Miss You

Josh Groban-To Where You Are

Mercy Me- I Can Only Imagine

Cranberries-When You Are Gone 

Sophie Hawkins-Lay Me Down

Anthony Hamilton-Dear Life

Coldplay-See you soon

Worship Song-Draw Me Close To You

Tommy Walker-I Have A Hope

Meredith Andrews-You Are Not Alone

Ben Harper-More Than Sorry

 Terry MacAlmon-I Stand In Awe

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Stay tuned for more OC Walk To Remember news here soon.

Sometimes all a Babylost Father needs to hear is that he is a Wonderful Father.  This sunset was photographed and designed by Carly Marie Dudley the wife of Sam Dudley.

Please share this image around. Copy it to your computer, post it on your facebook page, email it to your friends. You have her permission to spread this photo around the world.  By acknowledging that he is a Wonderful Father we create recognition and we break the silence of grief.

Sunday September 26th is International Babylost Fathers Day. International Babylost Father’s Day (IBFD) recognizes babylost men all over the world as fathers. More than often the men are left out when it comes to grief support. We want this to change. When a woman loses her baby her partner loses that baby too. We must never forget that.

IBFD is a day for remembrance and recognition. These men are Wonderful Fathers.

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Check back for more OC Walk To Remember news here soon.

Franchesca Cox writes:

On May 5, 2009 we welcomed our precious gift, Jenna Belle, our firstborn into this world. God allowed her to grace our lives for 13 beautiful days. My hope is to honor her life as she has forever changed my world. Faced with indescribable grief that I will never understand, I have to believe that my greatest loss was and still is her greatest gain. Living without my Jenna has changed me to the very core. I am managing to gain some ground through my artistic side, which I felt I lost when she died. This is all in her memory. Most days it is just plain hard, but I am learning to see that God is so big that He can make something beautiful out of something tragic.

One of the cruelest factors in grief is loneliness. Two weeks after Jenna died, most people stopped coming by and their lives naturally moved on. That’s when it became clear that this was my burden, my journey, my daughter. Of course, life had not moved on for me; I was still stuck in that moment that she died and went to Heaven. It felt like drowning and not being able to scream for help. That’s exactly it. When she died and I began to feel the loneliness of this grief settling in my soul, all I wanted to do was spare someone else from feeling forgotten or shunned in a time of great loss.

Today, a few baby steps into this grief journey, I rest thankful to have been her mother. But the pain is there everyday and everywhere I go. Part of me never wants it to go away. It’s a part of her that lives in me.

I offer the story of my greatest loss so that a grieving, baby lost mama will know that she is not alone.

While most people don’t know how to confront the harsh reality that babies die, I am living proof that they do. There is a part of me that died with Jenna, rearranging everything I stood for making me somebody new.

This blog, Handprints from Heaven, offers the story of an angel and the journey of a mother who is depending on the grace of God that is sufficient, because He said so. Offering support to families who have lost children.

Click here to Request a Hope Collage and order a Memory Box.

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More stories available on the OC Walk To Remember blog.